The Trio & Me

7. Child free time with my mum friends (social connections)

Whilst reflecting and writing my “40 things to do before I turn 40” list, one thing kept coming up again and again – social time.

It’s something that, for a long time, I didn’t prioritise, not because I didn’t value it, but because life naturally pulled me in other directions.

As a single mum raising my children on my own, my focus has always been on them – on making sure they were safe, supported, and had everything they needed to grow into who they are becoming. Between working, parenting, and carrying the full weight of responsibility day in and day out, there often wasn’t much left to give beyond that.

I am incredibly fortunate to have some truly amazing friends who have stood by me through all of my seasons of life, the highs, the lows, and everything in between. These are the people who have seen the real, unfiltered version of me, who have held space for me when things were heavy, and who have celebrated with me in the moments that mattered.

But if I’m being honest, social connection has been one of the hardest things for me to maintain.

Since becoming a mum almost 19 years ago, it was one of the first things to quietly fall away. Time, energy, and capacity became limited, and naturally, my children became my priority in every sense of the word.

Being naturally introverted has also played a part. I have always found social situations overwhelming at times, and forming new connections hasn’t come easily to me. Add in social anxiety, my “tism’s,” and the constant pull of responsibility, and over time my circle became smaller.

But it also became more intentional, more meaningful, and deeply valued.

The friendships I have – whether they were formed through motherhood, through different stages of my life, or completely separate from it – are all equally important to me. And while my circle may not be large, it is filled with people who I genuinely care about and want to stay connected to.

This year, I have made a conscious effort not only to maintain those friendships, but to nurture them.

That means regular messages, check-ins, making time for calls, and being more intentional about showing up, even in small ways. Because connection doesn’t always have to be big or planned- it can be found in consistency, in effort, and in simply letting someone know they matter.

Last year, I made one small but significant step in creating space for connection in my life.

I reached out to two incredible women I met over 11 years ago, back when our kids first started playing netball together, and I asked if they would be open to committing to something simple but consistent – a monthly catch-up. A dedicated time where we could step away from the demands of motherhood, work, and everyday life, and just spend time together.

Thankfully for me, they said yes.

And that one small decision has turned into something really special.

So far this year, we’ve shared cocktail brunches, slow breakfasts, and nights out filled with laughter, with many more plans still to come. It’s not about doing anything extravagant, but about the consistency of showing up – for each other and for ourselves.

That once-a-month time has become something I genuinely look forward to, because it gives me space to reconnect with who I am outside of being a mum, outside of work, and outside of the responsibilities that usually define my days.

It’s a reminder that I am allowed to just be. To laugh, to relax, to talk about things beyond schedules and to-do lists, and to feel like one of the girls again.

What started as a simple connection through our children’s sport has grown into a beautiful and supportive friendship, one that feels grounded, easy, and genuine.

And alongside that, I am continuing to nurture the other friendships in my life – the ones that have been there through different chapters, and continue to grow alongside me.

Because connection, in all its forms, matters. And I truly couldn’t feel luckier to have that in my life.

🤍 K