The Trio & Me

12. Take part in a race

When I sat down to write my list of 40 things to do before I turn 40, I quickly realised the list all had a central theme – it was about challenging myself. It was about stepping outside of the routines and responsibilities that have defined so much of my adult life and finding pieces of myself again. I wanted to enter my forties feeling confident, purposeful, and open to new experiences. Most of all, I wanted to prove to myself that I was still capable of doing things that scared me.

One of the items I wrote down was simple: Take part in a race.

There was no grand ambition behind it. I didn’t want to win a race. I didn’t want to become a runner. I certainly didn’t have dreams of completing marathons or standing on a podium. The goal was simply to participate. To put myself in an environment that felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable and see what happened.

Fitness has always been a very personal thing for me. Like many women, I’ve had periods in my life where my relationship with my body has been complicated. My body has carried three children, undergone surgeries, recovered from health challenges, and changed more times than I can count. While I have always appreciated movement and understood the importance of looking after myself, it has generally been something I’ve done quietly, without drawing attention to myself.

The thought of standing amongst hundreds of people in activewear, all seemingly fitter, faster, and more experienced than me, was intimidating. In fact, that’s exactly why I knew I needed to do it.

For me, this list was never about doing things that came naturally. It was about doing the things that made me hesitate.

So I signed up for the local annual race the ‘Rocky River Run’. 

As race day approached, I found myself feeling increasingly nervous. I worried about whether I would be fit enough. I worried about whether I would be the slowest person there. I worried about whether I’d look out of place. The funny thing about anxiety is that it has a way of convincing you that everyone is paying attention to you, when in reality everyone is focused on themselves.

On the morning of the event, I arrived feeling a mixture of excitement and self-doubt. Looking around at the crowd, I wondered if I had made a mistake. There were seasoned runners, families, fitness groups, and people who looked like they had done this a hundred times before.

Then the race began. And almost instantly, something shifted. Nobody cared how fast I was going. Nobody cared whether I was running, jogging, or walking. Nobody was judging me. Everyone was simply focused on their own race, their own goals, and their own reasons for being there. The pressure I had built up in my head disappeared.

Instead, I found myself enjoying the atmosphere. I enjoyed seeing people of all ages and fitness levels participating. I enjoyed the encouragement from spectators and fellow participants. I enjoyed being part of something bigger than myself. Most importantly, I enjoyed knowing that I had shown up.

I didn’t go fast. I didn’t set any records. I didn’t cross the finish line with an impressive time. But I did exactly what I had set out to do. I participated. I challenged myself. I stepped outside my comfort zone. And when I crossed that finish line, I felt incredibly proud. Not because of the distance. Not because of the achievement itself. But because I had done something that scared me. I had stopped overthinking and simply given it a go.

As I reflected afterwards, I realised that so much of personal growth happens in moments like these. The achievement isn’t necessarily the event itself. The achievement is overcoming the voice in your head that tells you not to try. It’s choosing courage over comfort. It’s allowing yourself to be a beginner. It’s being willing to show up imperfectly rather than not showing up at all. 

What started as a simple item on a list became a reminder that I am still capable of surprising myself.

Since completing the River Run, I’ve already signed up for another event – the Beach Run next month. This time, my daughter has decided to join me, which somehow makes the experience even more special. What began as a challenge for myself is becoming something we can share together, and I love that.

Do I suddenly have a passion for races? Not particularly. Do I see myself becoming a marathon runner? Definitely not. But I have discovered something far more valuable. I’ve discovered how much joy there is in saying yes to opportunities. How rewarding it feels to try something new. How empowering it is to prove to yourself that fear doesn’t have to make the decisions.

And for that reason alone, I’m more thankful than ever that I decided to do this list of 40 things.

Kobe 🤍