The Trio & Me

11. Try a New Recipe Each Month This Year

I’ve had a complicated relationship with food for most of my life. While I now genuinely enjoy cooking for the people I love, experimenting with recipes, and creating comforting meals, my relationship with food hasn’t always been a positive one.

During my teenage years, while living in youth homeless shelters and housing commission units, food was survival. There wasn’t always regular access to meals, and often the only food available came from food banks or charity vouchers – $30 a week is all I had. I learnt very early how to make meals out of almost nothing – plain rice and frozen mixed vegetables became a very normal dinner.

And when there wasn’t food, I drank black tea. Even now, I still can’t smell tea without feeling an intense  sense of déjà vu attached to those years.

When I entered adulthood and started working, food became more accessible, but my relationship with it shifted in unhealthy ways. I started binge eating and became quite wasteful with food – almost as though having access to it suddenly meant I didn’t know how to regulate it anymore. And I ate all of the unhealthy foods. Now food became something I spent more money on each week than rent and other bills.

When I became a parent, being able to consistently provide healthy and nutritious meals for my children became something I felt incredibly proud of. I worked really hard to role model good eating habits. And even though they’ve always had stability around food, the scars from my own experiences never fully disappeared. Somewhere along the way, I found comfort in unhealthy eating habits myself.

I would “sneak” cheeseburgers in the car on the way home from work, before sitting down to dinner with the kids later that night. After they went to bed, I would binge eat simply for the sake of eating – not from hunger, but from something emotional that I didn’t understand. I felt dirty the more I ate, but I couldn’t stop myself from eating.

Through therapy, I’ve recently learnt just how deeply food insecurity sits on my trigger list. Working through this with my psychologist using EMDR therapy has been incredibly life-changing, helping me process experiences I didn’t even realise were still driving so many of my behaviours.

For me, food has been many things – survival, comfort, distraction, connection. But without healthy boundaries, I’ve often used it in ways that were never nourishing me.

While I do have weight loss goals that I’m working toward, this item on my list isn’t really about dieting. It’s about repairing my relationship with food.

So this year, I’m trying one new recipe every month – learning to bring joy back into healthy eating again, finding balance, and building a healthier understanding of moderation and nourishment.

So far, we’ve tried a few viral recipes that the kids have absolutely loved. And honestly, that’s been one of the best parts – creating healthier relationships with food together while being a little adventurous along the way.

I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I am making intentional steps toward building strong and consistent habits. Habits that ensure food is no longer something I use to punish myself with, but something that nourishes me – and something connected to joy, connection, and the conversations shared around the dinner table.

🤍 K