The Trio & Me

5. Celebrate Mia’s journey into adulthood

Parenting has never felt straightforward to me. There was no example of what healthy parenting looked like, no guidance to fall back on, and no reassurance to quiet the constant, underlying fear that I wasn’t doing enough.

That fear has followed me into motherhood.

It has shown up as anxiety, as pressure, and as that quiet but persistent voice that questions whether I am enough, whether I am getting it right, and whether I am giving my children what they truly need.

As my eldest approached adulthood, I’ve found myself reflecting more deeply on my own journey at that age. At 18, I was navigating the world completely alone, without support, direction, or a sense of stability. At the time, I didn’t fully recognise what I was missing, but looking back now, I can see how that lack of guidance led me down paths that were shaped by survival rather than self-worth.

I turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, found myself in toxic relationships, and began building a life that could have had very different – and far more devastating – outcomes.

When I fell pregnant, I was in the middle of that spiral. I was only 20 years old, in a very dark place, and I genuinely didn’t know how I could be a mother, let alone raise a child. In that space, I made a silent promise to myself – one that is hard to even put into words now – that I wouldn’t make it past her 18th birthday.

At the time, I believed that once she reached adulthood, she wouldn’t need me anymore. I thought my role would be complete, and that maybe my presence in the world wouldn’t matter beyond that point.

But life has a way of changing you.

Over the years, those thoughts slowly faded, replaced by something much stronger. The love my children have given me has reshaped the way I see myself and my place in this world. It has shown me, in ways I can’t fully explain, that I am needed – not just in their childhood, but in every stage of their lives.

And so, I made a new promise.

To be here for all of it.

To be present, to grow, to heal, and to continue showing up – not perfectly, but wholeheartedly.

So here we are.

Mia is 18.

And despite everything we have both navigated – individually and together – I could not be more proud of the young woman she is becoming. Her strength, her resilience, and her ability to move through the world in her own way is something I admire deeply.

We have celebrated this milestone, and I will continue to celebrate her – not just today, but in all the years to come.

Cocktails – and nights out – truly make me feel “middle age” 😅

Our accompany track: straight from 86’ – Bananarama: Venus

🤍 K